My wife says I shouldn't moan when she parks several inches out from the curb. But when I'm one inch out of place in the bedroom she goes berserk.
A bloke is driving down the motorway making a delivery of monkeys to the zoo and his van breaks down He tries to fix it himself but can’t manage so he rings the RAC. While he is waiting Paddy pulls in behind him and asks him if he needs a hand. The bloke says “I’m supposed to be taking these monkeys to the zoo, but the van has broken down”. He looks at Paddy’s van and sees that it’s empty. So he says, Paddy, “I’ll give you £50 if you take these monkeys to the zoo for me”. Paddy says that he will so they load up the van and he sets off. Two hours later, the bloke is still waiting for the RAC to attend and he sees Paddy pull up in his van, loaded with monkeys. The bloke says “Paddy, I gave you £50 to take those monkeys to the zoo, what happened”? Paddy replied “well I took them to the zoo and still had a few quid left, so I thought I would take them to the cinema as well”.
