JOB VACANCY: GRASSROOTS FOOTBALL COACH Key Requirements: Tactical expertise: Familiarity with modern formations and playing styles, like inverted wing-backs, False 9 etc; possess the ability to get this information across to 7 year olds. Meteorologist: Able to predict match conditions, days or weeks in advance. Negotiation skills: Be able to inform parents that their "mini-Messi" is unlikely to become a professional footballer, and they might need to pin their financial hopes on winning the lottery. Mathematician: If X = match time, and Y = number of players, but A didn't come to training, and B has a "hurty foot", work out a schedule that means all players have a decent amount of game time, and a reason why "mini-Messi" is not playing every minute, and also isn't taking every penalty & free kick. Groundskeeper: Must be comfortable doing early morning pitch inspections (& liaising with league, opposition, & parents); putting up goal nets, parental barrier, corner flags; retrieving lost balls from thorny bushes; as well as clearing up other people's dog mess. Accountant: Stretch a shoestring budget to cover all kit, equipment, training venue, referees, pitch, & league registration fees. Conflict resolution: Calmly diffuse spats between parents, players, and referees. Training visionary: Create fun, engaging drills that keep the team engaged, and ready for match day; ensuring players aren't cold in rain & freezing temperatures. Laundrette: Ensure team kits are washed, & smell nice. Motivational speaker: Encourage the team with pre-match & halftime speeches. Event planner: Oversee the annual awards evening, ensuring trophies are distributed, and egos remain intact. Other role expectations: Don't ever have a late night before a match (Saturday nights are for mentally preparing for Sunday's game, not for enjoyment). Must also undertake a separate full time job; and where possible, maintain some semblance of a family life Pay: £0 / hour, but double pay for weekend working. Credit: Facebook
hats off to all who coach and manage kids teams. false nine know that that is. but inverted wing-backs??
