During the first days of the Special Military Operation a Russian General hears a shout from the other side of a hill, 'One Ukrainian can kill ten Russians!' The general laughs and sends ten soldiers to go and kill the Ukrainian. There is a lot of shooting followed by silence. Suddenly the voice shouts from the other side of the hill, 'One Ukrainian can kill a hundred Russians!' The general is a bit upset so he sends one hundred and fifty soldiers to kill the Ukrainian. As before, there is a lot of shooting followed by silence. Then the voice shouts from the other side of the hill, 'One Ukrainian can kill a thousand Russians!' This time the general is furious so he sends fifteen hundred soldiers to kill the Ukrainian. This time there is a very long period of shooting then another silence, broken only by the groans of a badly wounded Russian soldier that can be seen crawling back over the hill. The wounded soldier eventually makes it back to the general and, with his last breath, says, 'Don't send anymore troops comrade general, it's a trap - there are two of them!'
I just used a toilet brush for the first time. Needless to say, but I'm going back to using toilet paper.
I just read that a bloke who masturbated forty eight times in one day has died. At least we all now know, forty seven is the limit.
I can't believe how much my glasses weigh. I got on the scales this morning and it said 13 stone, then I put my glasses on and it said 18.
Rumour has it that Elon Musk and Bill Gates are creating a new drug for penis enlargement . . . . it’s called Elongates, and it cures a condition called Microsoft.
A rare Picasso has apparently just sold for £106 million. Who on earth pays that sort of money for a blinking Renault ?
