I just used a toilet brush for the first time. Needless to say, but I'm going back to using toilet paper.
I just read that a bloke who masturbated forty eight times in one day has died. At least we all now know, forty seven is the limit.
I can't believe how much my glasses weigh. I got on the scales this morning and it said 13 stone, then I put my glasses on and it said 18.
Rumour has it that Elon Musk and Bill Gates are creating a new drug for penis enlargement . . . . it’s called Elongates, and it cures a condition called Microsoft.
A rare Picasso has apparently just sold for £106 million. Who on earth pays that sort of money for a blinking Renault ?