Very similar to my childhood Rooch. I was born 1954, I think the first game my dad took me to was 1962. In my opinion, my parents were model parents who loved us and provided the advice and guidance we needed to give us a start in adulthood. Dad was a disabled war veteran but he never missed a days work, even during the rough winters we had up in Stanley, he instilled my work ethic in me. They had nowt but made sure we wanted for nothing. I remember my first pair of football boots he got me. Leather ankle boots with six cork studs, he re-studded them and polished them up before proudly giving them to me...the first time I wore them I had six f***ing holes in the sole of each foot....great dad but a ****e cobbler
A man and a parrot find themselves sitting next to each other on a plane, and as the stewardess comes along the man asks for a coffee, at which point the parrot shouts, “Get me a brandy and be quick about it.” A little upset by his attitude, the stewardess goes off and returns with the brandy, but not the coffee. “Excuse me, Miss, you’ve forgotten my coffee,” he tells her. “Oh, sorry,” she replies, and is just about to go when the parrot shouts even louder, “And get me another brandy, you incompetent cow.” This time she’s very upset, but returns quickly with the brandy, having forgotten once again to get the man’s coffee. “Maybe if I take the same attitude as this parrot, I might get results,” he thinks to himself. “Hey, coffee, and be quick about it, you dozy bitch.” he shouts. In no time at all the stewardess returns with two male colleagues who drag both the man and the parrot from their seats and throw them out of the emergency hatch. As the man passes the parrot on the way down, the bird turns to him and says, “You’ve got a real attitude for someone who can’t fly.”
A blind girl once told me I had the biggest ever penis. In hindsight though , I think she was pulling my leg.
The wife just won’t accept that she’s very fat. Not even when the doctor said she has a terminal flesh eating disease. And gave her 18 years to live
A cop pulls over a car in the middle of the night: Sir, do you realize how badly your car was swerving between lanes? I've had 8 drinks, officer. That's no excuse to let your wife drive.
A train broke down on the London underground this morning. The driver called the station to let them know, saying "Euston . . . . we have a problem."
