Or at least that’s what people say. I knew they were wrong, at least in England, but trying to explain it fell on deaf ears. Anyway, their lament may be coming true after all. I try not to give an opinion on a post that I create as I want to use it as a tool to provoke discussion. On this occasion though I will. Not before time. Smacking kids never achieves anything. If you wouldn’t hit an adult, why is it acceptable to strike a child in similar circumstances? There is always the clichéd trope of “I was smacked as a kid and it never did me any harm”. Well, you don’t know that. You may be the exact same person that you are now in the absence of being smacked, but you’ll never know because you were. I’ve never thought that the act of hitting a child is acceptable. It’s assault. Who remembers getting the cane at school? I do and I can tell you that it hurt, it was embarrassing and ironically it gave me a dislike of authority figures. It was incompetent, bullying teachers over exerting their authority in the name of lawful chastisement. As I got older the vast majority of kids that I had dealings with in a professional capacity were ones whose families thought that a swift clip was the way to instill discipline. It wasn’t. It just made them angry young kids. Right, I’ll get off my pedestal. Just remember that these are my opinions based on my experiences. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me, but neither do I expect the abuse that sometimes comes with this sort of discussion. Lastly, was I smacked? Yes I was. Have I smacked my son? Yes, once, and I vowed to never do it again. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c9q4x9d9xgpo
I think it's very difficult to generalise and find one rule to fit all. There's no doubt that children who are regularly subject to violence in the home can turn angry and become disturbed. There's also no doubt that a timely smack on the hand or the legs can help to instill discipline which results in a well balanced person who knows and accepts right from wrong. There's also the case to be made that some children who don't receive effective admonishment for bad behaviour can assume that they have the right to behave badly all of the time. I was smacked occasionally when I misbehaved, and I was caned at school. I've smacked my children when I felt they needed it, although very infrequently. I consider myself to be a well-balanced individual, and consider my children as well-balanced individuals. What I don't know, of course, is whether a ban on our collective treatment would have yielded a different result.....I would hope not.
It could also be questioned why, since smacking has been so frowned upon, that the violence among children has increased so much. I was also smacked occasionally at home and caned (quite often) at school but it has done me no harm.
It did me harm. Made me anxious, angry, scared, upset, injured. Made me have a poor relationship with my dad who effectively bullied me. The other harm that smacking does is make some people think smacking is ok. Not convinced violence has increased either, just serious violence. I think less people think violence is acceptable these days. Most young men I’ve worked with involved in violence crave warmth, belonging and care. Not another kicking like them and their mam got.
So that's why all the lads in there 50s, 60s, want to play 5aside I organise... they crave warmth, belonging and care...? I could do a poll to see if they were smacked and or smack... not. Interesting point though, males craving care.
As a child I was smacked and corrected by my parents but it was a far cry from abuse or violence. I had been naughty and punished. I learned to a degree right from wrong. The main problem is not the punishment it is the adults administering the punishments. Parents need to know how to parent. It is not about if a child should be smacked it is more about when and if that punishment should be used. I get sick of hearing parents shouting at their child for the littlest thing (it has no effect after a while because for the child it just becomes normal) it is the same with smacking a child, it should be infrequent and only used very rarely and only if warranted. Kids these days are highly intelligent but seem very self centred and a lot have a me, me, me attitude, which comes from a lot of sources including scooling, parenting, advertising, TV and social media to name a few.
I got smacked when I was a kid, I think I deserved it sometimes. It never turned me into a serial killer. Some of the feral bastards around here need to be sorted out by their parents, but I suspect its too late for them
I got smacked when I was little and probably deserved it most of the time, it did make me think twice the next time I was going to do something silly. At school we got the strap for next to nothing and I mean nothing, teachers were just pure scum, that never made me think twice because I never deserved it. 6 straps on each hand for laughing at someone who burnt his hand on a Bunsen Burner is very extreme in my opinion and just made me rebel and try and prove to the scumbags that they couldnt hurt me. Setting fire to Mrs Cutlers washing line prop probably deserved a crack on the arse. All about context I think. I have tried to bring my kids up using the same methods I was brought up with but times have changed, my son wasnt going to be caught down Usworth Airport climbing through the fence to look at planes. Childhood has become so much more sterile these days, It was all playstations and Xboxes for him. My daughter is different again she was brought up with Ipads and Sky TV etc. Playing out with friends isnt the thing it was in my childhood and I find that sad, kids are missing out on so much.
Nowt wrong with an occasional short sharp smack on the arse/side of thigh. 2-3 blows is a bit of a blurry line but can be excused due to the losing of temper or the fact that your first attempt, your child moved and just received a glancing blow, you just didnt quite connect right. This shouldnt warrant getting the law involved. However, any more should be banned. As should hitting any other part of the body. Bear in mind my mam and dad used to smack my arse, typically half a dozen times (my mam had that knack of bullseyeing on the exact same spot (agony!)). Me, I have not yet laid a finger on my 12 year old daughter. Although sometimes I have to refrain from giving her a smack across the chops.
I think a tap on the arse is fine to be honest, it’s not quite the same as abusing a child really is it.. Having the girls both still at a young age I’m dumbfounded by the **** I read, mostly from modern day mothers. They think they are re-inventing the wheel and only their way of parenting is correct. First it was apparently abusive to “sleep train” your child sleep in their own room, because you know who wouldn’t want to share a bed with their child who’s now in school..? (Weird). Then it was having to keep your child in a rear facing car seat until the age of SEVEN. Now I don’t know about any of you, but a 7 year old sitting with legs practically in the boot because one study out of hundreds says you’re 0.5% safer rear facing still at that age is ridiculous. Would you drive with a neck brace on permanently because you’d undoubtedly be safer if someone bumped into the back of you? And now it’s moved on to discipline, which I know smacking has always been a taboo subject but the one thing I will say as someone who’s generally around other parents and kids quite often with parties etc, it’s ALWAYS the kids of the parents who sit there doing f**k all to discipline their child who are the little bastards. I’m glad I don’t have boys because if they behaved the way that I’ve seen some of them behave toward other children and babies they would’ve have a smack around the lug no doubt. We were in Wearside Farm a few weeks ago (forgive me) and 2 lads in the play area must’ve been about 4 and 7. 7 year old causing chaos, member of staff asking him to stop and he starts hitting her. She says his parents are just say up there they’re always in and don’t stop them. Then throws a heavy “cushioned” building block as hard as he can at another girl who must’ve been 5/6 and it hit her that hard he knocked her over and she came out with a pet lip on. He walked over to my 2 on those daft machines you put a quid in and tried to move them so I shouted over and he **** he’s pants. Next thing my missus is up and marching over to his parents table and I’ve got second hand embarrassment. If you don’t believe in shouting or smacking that’s fine but if you can’t control your kids then your opinion is irrelevant. Rant owa
6 years old. Walking home from school I remember forcibly letting go of my mams hand, running towards the main road, I was off like a bullet. I think I was planning on abruptly stopping before the road but it was a really windy day and the gusts against my back made me fail to stop in time. This was all whilst my mam, potentially witnessing me running to my death, was screaming for me to stop and chasing after me, I ignored her. Luckily there were no cars coming. My mam, in front of all the parents and children, screamed at me whilst smacking me repeatedly on the arse. I was embarrassed and temporarily in pain. And it is for that reason I didnt do it again and it still remains one of my earliest memories. THE EMBARRESMENT! I'd now like to think that the parents and kids who witnessed it learned a lesson that day too. So, basically, today, if anybody does what my mam did that day, they would be breaking the law? Despite being driven temporarily insane by potentially being witness to my violent death? That doesnt sit right with me.
I was in Redcar a few years ago and this kid, around 5 or 6 I’d say, was desperate to get his mothers attention. “Mam,… Mam…” etc all to get her to look at a guy in a bear costume. After a few minutes the woman turned and belted him across the face and said “what the hell do you want?”. He looked happy! I reckon it’s down to just managing to get some attention from her as he was effectively on his own! I was amacked on the back of my hand as a kid and occasionally on the backside by my dad. It taught me not to do the things I had been getting wrong for. Or at least not to get caught! never had and never really hurt, just enough give a shock! But the worst punishment I ever got was NOT getting a,asked! Playing on my Amiga, and losing at one of the many footy games. Swore at it. Brother said “Dad wants you to”, I replied “he’ll have you ****ing wait” , then my Dad’avoice said my name! My arse fell out!! But he told me very sternly about swearing. We amazed, but it frightthe life out of me!!!
When we lived in France and doing supermarket shopping it was always English kids running wild, pushing trolleys into people, especially those kiddie sized ones....no reaction whatsoever from the parents. I used to be smacked as kid back in the 50s every ****er did if I'm honest but there was always a reason for it. Don't remember having to smack my two, to this day they tell me I only had to give them that look and they packed in straight away. You'll always get parents over stepping the mark, but I fully agree with Worky about modern mothers who think no one else has brought up kids and it's there way or no way being influenced by the bloody internet.
what about school teachers? I saw one over 6 feet tall hit a lad on the arse with a gym shoe, full power, we were about 10 years old, the lad started crying and making his way back to his desk, the teacher told him he hadnt finished with him, made him bend over and did the same again, full force, this teacher was quite athletic played Rugby and cricket, that scene has never left my mind. Now that was abuse
Was smacked. Won't smack. It's a damaging thing to do and any time I've had the urge to do it, it hasn't been the urge to discipline, it's been because of rage. That does not one any good in my opinion. When I have calmed down the urge to smack is just gone because it doesn't teach a damn thing but fear.
Every teacher in my school was like that, actually beat you in front of the class with clenched fists, all x army all deranged bastards who got a kick out of it. Only got smacked once as far as I can remember from my dad, never got caught doing the things I shouldn’t have been.
