"Why don't you shave all your pubes off, love?" she said, handing me the razor. "It will make your c*ck look massive." Bit forward, I thought, for a vasectomy nurse.
HUSBAND: Can I come in your ear? WIFE: No!I might get deaf. HUSBAND: I always come in your mouth but you never shut up
Liverpool have called for an immediate replay against Plymouth Argyle in the FA Cup because one of the plumbers in midfield isn't Gas Safe registered.
Me: "What do you want for Valentines day?" Wife: "Give me a ring, that's enough." Me: "From a landline or mobile?"
Advice please! What’s the best number of roses to give the wife on valentines? 6,12,24 or the whole tin?
Beware of online Valentines Day scams . . . . my husband ordered jewellery, but they sent Glenfiddich & Guinness !