Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walking along the beach come across a mermaid. Englishman says to her , have you ever been kissed, no she says, so he kisses her. Scotsman says , have you ever been fondled, and when she says no , the Scotsman fondles her.. The irishman says, have you ever been f**ked . No she says, the Irishman says, well you have now, the tides gone out.
Heard that one before. How did they stay on the brass monkey when the ship was rolling from side to side in bad weather? Simple physics really.
I'm having a garden sale tomorrow. I've got 3 trampolines, 6 patio chairs and 4 fence panels. New stuff arriving all the time!
You can burn up to 150 calories through one vigorous session of masturbation... Still got kicked out of my Weight Watchers meeting though!
