If you are walking in bear country it's advisable to carry pepper spray and wear a string of bells around your neck. The bells give the bears warning that you're around and mostly they will get out of your way. The pepper spray is for when they don't. It's also very important to know what kind of bears are around, because the action you need to take depends on the bear species. The way to tell is to examine the bear droppings you come across. Brown bear droppings are generally wide and round, they contain grasses and smell quite sweet. Grizzly bear droppings are much taller and conical-shaped, they contain bells and smell of pepper.
I was reading the paper at home last night, when my wife's water broke. As she screamed and held her belly in pain, I thought I'd quickly grab the car keys and my coat. With all that noise, I desperately needed a pint.
Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman walking along the beach come across a mermaid. Englishman says to her , have you ever been kissed, no she says, so he kisses her. Scotsman says , have you ever been fondled, and when she says no , the Scotsman fondles her.. The irishman says, have you ever been f**ked . No she says, the Irishman says, well you have now, the tides gone out.
