A lorry carrying 50 pallets of boxes of Vicks Vaporub overturned on the A 845 early this morning. The road hasn't been congested all day.
I went to the pub today and asked for a glass of orange squash. The barman and the lads started laughing, called me a wimp and took the piss. I said, " You'd drink squash too if you had what i have"... The barman looked concerned, "Oh sorry mate, I didn't realise something was wrong. What have u got?" "50 pence" I replied.