I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home. She replied yes with a big smile. The look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box.
The sky was looking ominous this morning so I said to Siri "Surely it's not going to snow today ?" and she replied “Yes it is . . . . and don’t call me Shirley.” That was when I realised that I’d left my phone on Airplane mode
I’ll never forget the day my soon to be ex wife said to me - if I want your opinion I’ll give it you - totally straight faced - I howled at her and called her a ****ing nut job
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery . . . . a hearse was followed by a second hearse about 50' behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a lead, and behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file. The man needed to satisfy his curiosity, so he respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said “I am so sorry for your loss and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it ?” “My wife’s.” ”What happened to her ?” “She shouted at me and my dog attacked her.” He inquired further. “So who is in the second hearse ?” The man answered. “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.” A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men before he said “Can I borrow the dog ?” The man replied. “Get in the queue.”
