When I was very young, from the age of 7, my parents would get me out of bed and bring me down to watch Til Death... I got it straight away, that Alf was a creature of ridicule, not a hero of any sort. Makes me chuckle to this day how he's put up by so many onto a certain pedestal!
A BOXING DAY POO. You sit upon the toilet With everything prepared You're feeling quite excited but A little bloody scared! That huge amount of Christmas nosh Has turned into a log And now the fateful time has come To flush it down the bog! But first you must expel the beast And so you start to strain, You bite down on a piece of wood To take away the pain But oh my god, its bloody huge It's like you're giving birth! You sweat and push and swear and shake and strain for all your worth. And then that magic moment comes, That fills your soul with cheer, A turd the size of King Kongs arm Emerges from your rear. And like a bomb it hits the pan Thus lightening your mood, And making room inside your guts For lots more Christmas food!
