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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #33321
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  2. Wooperts_duck

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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'd been seeing this nurse for a few days and we finally got round to sex.
    As I stripped off I said, "You must have seen a few manhood's where you work, how do you rate mine?"
    She said, "It's slightly bigger than average."
    "Thanks." I said, "What sort of nursing do you do anyway?"
    She said, "I'm a Pediatrician."
     
    #33323
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  4. Wooperts_duck

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  5. Wooperts_duck

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    #33325
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Ok, not happy.
    Just been into TESCO’s and it was nuts, yet again they had no toilet paper at all.
    Reluctantly i headed to the checkout and ask if they had any more and they said firmly “NO” almost to the point of being rude !!!!
    Walking back to the toilet with my trousers and pants around my ankles was a walk i never want to have to do again.
     
    #33326
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  8. antipodean exile

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    #33328
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  9. antipodean exile

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  10. antipodean exile

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    #33330
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  11. antipodean exile

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    #33331
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  12. antipodean exile

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. antipodean exile

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man told the doctor : "My wife's pregnant, but we haven't
    had sex in over a year. I don't understand it."
    The doctor said : "It's what we in the medical profession
    call a grudge pregnancy."
    "What's a grudge pregnancy?" asked the man.
    The doctor replied : "Well, somebody's obviously had it in
    for you
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    #33339
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  20. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I ordered something different from the local Indian takeaway.

    It’s a Chicken Tarka .

    It’s like a chicken Tikka , it’s just a little otter .
     
    #33340
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