The first time I had sex, it was in my parent's bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, "This is a bit awkward." I grunted, "Just ignore them!"
"Remember, never go near a firework that's been lit and hasn't gone off, it could still explode." I've still got a Catherine Wheel nailed to the shed door from 1985, so I can't get my lawnmower out
In the shower with the Mrs. "Phwoooooar, your t*ts looks really sexy, babe. All soapy and wet, wobbling up and down." "F*ck off. And don't keep taking the p*ss, or I'm getting out." I replied.
