Guilty Pleasures

Sometimes if I’m laid out on the settee, when I do a big sneeze the snot goes everywhere.
I gather it all up and poke it all into my belly button.
I then forget about it, but by morning it’s all crusted up and I love picking it all out.

 

The seam on the crotch of a womans wetsuit from behind when they are laying on their board, looks a lot like pussy.

When they are laying down paddling out in front of you, in that tight black wet neoprene, it's difficult not to notice these things

 

lol you ****ing animal

I do hold onto a good bogey though for a while to inspect it as it dries out.

 

You’re a ****in wrong un ffs

 

I also feed my toe nail clippings to the dog

 

I've always been a ****er for clean nails.

Never go near a girl with dirty finger nails

 

Coming from somebody who stores their snot in their belly button and then picks out the crust in the morning

 

Can't wait for Schlem to see this thread.

He'll lower the bar even further.

 

I

I do this with cocaine tissues.

Gather them all up and place on radiator so all the coke snot goes crusty and falls off, some is good to sniff again, use rest as garnish \ sweetener

 

Are you gay?

 

Dua lipa

 

Absolutely stunning her

 

I think there's a few who don't understand what a guilty pleasure is. If you post Dua Lipa it would suggest you like ugly munters or men but now and then you just can't resist a fit bird. Just saying

 

Not seeing it with Dua Lipa, rather have my Jaffa Cakes. #gay

 

Motherfuckers

think I’ll eat my pizza and fries whilst reading the other threads

 

Saying jalapenos with a hard J

**** you innit

 

Not putting the squiggly line in ‘jalapeños’.

 

Getting babies to head-butt their parents when they're on sitting on their lap on a bus or train.
The baby always laughs.