Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I turned to my colleague and asked, "Can you smell burning?"
23 years we've worked together at the Crematorium and that joke never gets old.

 

When it's ok to use the F word.

 

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Obviously using miracle grow.

 

I received one of “those” phone calls yesterday . . . . “Is that Mr. Armstrong ?”
Me: “Yes, it is”
“It’s about your recent accident . . . .”
Me: “How the hell did you know about that ? Sorry, but I thought that it was just going to be a fart !”
She hung up.

 

I thought that I saw Michael J Fox in our local garden centre this morning.

I couldn't be sure, though, 'cos he had his back to the fuchsias

 

I went into the car showroom and said to the salesman "My wife would like to talk to you about the VW Golf in your window."

"Sir, this is a BMW dealership and we don't have a VW Golf in the window" he replied.

"You need to have a look" I said.

 

My wife bought a home waxing kit the other day, and asked me if she should do it all or just do the sides and leave a strip down the middle.

I said that it would be better if she didn't have a moustache at all !

 

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Shouldn't she be grabbing the shelf?

 

No . . . . she should be moving on

 

.

 

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Rooch 3

is a twat

 

Killer that one mate

 

I decided to cut down on my alcohol intake so I've started limiting myself to a single glass of rum & black with each meal.

It's going well . . . . I'm already down to 12 meals a day

 

And the show judges never did find who stole the pair of winning pumpkins.