Bloke at work was saying the other week, he came out of the supermarket with a trolley full of food and a seagull swooped down and took a carton of chicken breast
I was cutting the arch top of my hedge a few weeks ago. Stood at the top of the 5 high step ladders and they snapped. How the fook I never injured myself I don't know. I bought some new steps and the next time I cut it, it was fine. A hot busy day and forgetting to drink fluids, except for alcohol, that night, I stood up, passed out for a second, hit the corner of the radiator with my shoulder, twisted my knee and sprained me fookin ankle
Scottish doctors used to inject whisky into the backs of their patients to ease pain, apparently. Just the thought of this sends Chivas down my spine !