Spoke to an uncle of mine in the UK yesterday and asked how he would be voting. He said he was suffering from erectile dysfunction, meaning he couldn't get aroused by any of the standing candidates.
I donated 6 pints of blood yesterday. Never doing that again, too many questions. Whose blood is this? Where did you get it?
The FA had said that none of the football team will vote in the GE. They said "They could not find the box let alone put a cross in it"
I was telling my mate that my wife has a weird habit of licking my balls. He said, " That's not weird. I wish my wife would do that." I said, " I didn't know that you played golf."