I was on the bus when this young attractive woman started to breastfeed her child. An elderly woman got up and protested saying it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen and would complain to the bus company. In hindsight I really shouldn't have been w*nking at the time!
When I saw my ex wife yesterday with her new boyfriend, I couldn't believe just how much he looked like me when we were still together. F*cking miserable.
I went for a haircut yesterday, but the barber said that he isn't cutting hair any longer ! I said that I wanted him to cut it shorter, not longer, but he wouldn't do it . . . . twat !
I’ve bought a race horse. Called it My Face. Not bothered if it never actually wins , but it”ll be fun hearing those posh lasses at Ladies Day yelling “ Come on my face”