Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

I said to the lovely Mrs Godders that I was thinking of having a tattoo.

She said "Do you think that is wise at your age?". I said that I could not see a problem with it and truth be told I had always wanted one.

She said that I should go ahead if I was sure and nothing further was said until today when she came back from the shops and said:-































"What on earth are all those bagpipers doing in our back garden?"

 

Raisi, the president of Iran, has been involved in a helicopter accident. Which is a shame…

 

Non binary prospector. Gold in them/their hills.

 

I did not know this place existed. Puns expected


https://search.app.goo.gl/uzZKrLS

 

I've heard it is a ****ty place to go



EDIT: How did you come across this? What google rabbit hole lead you to it

 

How crap is that?

 

Skid marks in the carpark.

 

Did you have to dump that on us?

 

I got a whiff of it. Actually a customer told me about it.

 

Sewer yer gonna go and visit it?

 

Up to our eyes in it.

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As it is on the Isle of wight I wonder if Fran has donated anything to the museum ?

 

Since we're in this scatological debate, did you hear about the zoological park whose only exhibit was a dog? It was a Shih tzu. I've got my coat...

 

R.I.P.

David Wilkie .


David Andrew Wilkie MBE (born 8 March 1954) was a Scottish former competitive swimmer who was Olympic and Commonwealth Games champion in the 1970s. He is the only person to have held British, American, Commonwealth, European, world and Olympic swimming titles at the same time[2] and was the first British swimmer to win an Olympic gold medal since Anita Lonsbrough in 1960.[3]

David Wilkie
MBE

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Personal information
Full name David Andrew Wilkie
National team Great Britain
Born 8 March 1954(age 70)
Colombo, Ceylon
Died 2024
Height 1.82 m (6 ft 0 in)[1]
Weight 76 kg (168 lb)
Sport
Sport Swimming
Strokes Medley, breaststroke
Club Warrender Baths Club
College team University of Miami (U.S.)
Coach Bill Diaz
University of Miami
Medal record
Representing

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Great Britain
Olympic Games

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1976 Montreal 200 m breast

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1972 Munich 200 m breast

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1976 Montreal 100 m breast
World Championships

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1973 Belgrade 200 m breast

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1975 Cali 100 m breast

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1975 Cali 200 m breast

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1973 Belgrade 200 m medley

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1975 Cali 4×100 m medley
European Championships

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1974 Vienna 200 m breast

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1974 Vienna 200 m medley

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1974 Vienna 4×100 m medley
Representing

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Scotland
British Commonwealth Games

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1974 Christchurch 200 m breast

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1974 Christchurch 200 m medley

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1974 Christchurch 100 m breast

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1970 Edinburgh 200 m breast

He is a member of the Scottish Sports Hall of Fame, the International Swimming Hall of Fame, has been described as Scotland's greatest swimmer[4][5] and Britain's finest swimmer.[6]

 

The Royal Horticultural Society's chairman's name is Keith Weed, he'll have to be rooted out.

 

Grandpa’s 100th birthday party was not a huge success.

The family wheeled him in his chair out onto the lawn for a picnic. When he slowly started to lean to the right, his daughter stuffed a pillow on his right side to prop him up.

A bit later, he started leaning to the left. His son straightened him up and stuffed a pillow on his left side.

Soon he started tilting forward. This time his other son caught him and tied a pillow around his waist.

A few minutes later, his grandson arrived. He said, “Hey, Grandpa! How’s life treating you?”

“Terrible,” he said. “They won’t let me fart.”

 

I underwent some surgery yesterday .

it was a Penis Reduction Proceedure .

It was A complete success .

I only have one now