I said to my Wife what would you do if I won the lottery? She said I would take half and leave you, Great I said I won a tenner here’s a fiver stay in touch
"Don't look down. Don't look down," I kept saying to myself. "Stop being such a baby!" My wife laughed. "You know I can't stand heights!" I said angrily. "Why did you make me come up here?" "Oh for God's sake!" She shouted. "I just thought it might be nice if you went on top once in a while."
The secret to my long marriage is we go out for a romantic meal twice every week..... "I go on a Tuesday and she goes on a Friday"....!!!
A mate of mine, Trevor Down, has just been sacked as a police officer for wasting their time ... ... every time he radioed in, and gave his name, they'd send an ambulance.