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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16921
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    After another row between us, my partner broke the silence by saying, "This isn't working, is it?"
    It was like a huge weight had been lifted of me and I turned to her and said, "Thank God you feel the same way! The thought of living in a loveless relationship for years to come was overwhelming me. I'll start looking for somewhere to live first thing in the morning."
    As tears welled up in her eyes, she replied, "I was talking about the microwave..."
     
    #16922
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16923
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Meanwhile, the Northern lights in Liverpool.........

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    #16924
  5. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  7. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley rider for traveling faster than the posted speed limit:
    He asks the old biker his name.
    “Fred.” He replies.
    “Fred what?” The officer asks.
    “Just Fred.” The old man responds.
    The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the old biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
    The officer then presses him for the last name.
    The old man tells him that he used to have a last name, but lost it.
    The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
    “Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’
    The old biker replies.
    “It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, and residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.
    After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! I got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. I got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
    Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
    Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.”
    The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
     
    #16928
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I parked the car in Tesco car park! I left the window open slightly so my dog had fresh air, she looked comfy stretched out on the back seat I walked away from the car backwards, saying with my finger pointing “Stay do you hear me, Stay!

    Then I heard the driver of a nearby car say why the f-ck don’t you just put the handbrake on !
     
    #16930
    Makemstine Roger and kiwiqpr like this.
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16931
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #16932
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #16933
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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #16934
  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #16936
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #16937
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #16938
  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #16939
  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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