Legend. Ah the good old days. Everybody could take the piss out of anybody and most didn't give a ****.
A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, “Can I help you, sir?” “Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was your car the last time you saw it?” “It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!” the man replies, logically, if a bit too literally. About this time the cop looks down to see that the man’s member is being exhibited for all the world to see. He asks the man, “Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?” The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat moans, “Ohhh God... they got my girlfriend too!!!”
The wife said 'now we don't seem to have full sex anymore I suppose you'll want a ****'. ...I said ' well I wouldn't mind love' ...she replied ' I'll be washing up,let me know when you've finished '
I've been trying to break up with an Optician recently....it's really awkward. Every time I tell her I can't see her anymore she moves an inch closer and says: "How about now?"
