Jokes

That should come with a warning that it may affect viewers who suffer with epilepsy

 

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?" "£80 per visit," replied the doctor. "I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said.

Six months later the psychiatrist met me on the street. "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked. "Well, £80 a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for £10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV."

"Is that so!" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed – ain’t nobody under there now!

 

What's rugby?


I actually have no interest whatsoever in rugby, just in case I've not been clear!

 

your clocks ticking Wakey shall i start the countdown now

 

Sure your that fit Wakey

 

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IMPORTANT MESSAGE:
CAN ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 8+ IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.THANK YOU!

 

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Sorry OLOF, but I believe that photo has been photoshopped and is therefore a fake.

Having done an extensive Google search and examined in great detail many thousands of photos, I have yet to find an image of a bra or bikini top with images of Mick Jaggers lips on it

 

Couldn't have done it without you mate