Stevie Wonder is on tour when he turns to one of his roadies and says, "My harmonica isn't working." "What harmonica?" he replies, "You've just sucked the chocolate off the side of my crunchie."
One day Princess Potato came into the throne room and announced to her parents, Queen Potato and King Potato, that she wanted to marry Jacqui Oatley. Her mother pleaded with her to change her mind, but the princess had her mind set. With his wife in tears, the King Potato said, “I forbid you from marrying Jacqui Oatley!” “But why, Daddy?” the princess asked. “Because,” said the King, “she’s just a common ‘tater.”
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks. What did you do today? The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "OK, OK. I was at me mate's house watching a film." Dad asks, "What film did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "OK, sorry dad, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father. Mum laughs and says, "Well, he's certainly your son." The robot slaps the mother. Robot for sale.