Standing at the bar in Greens last night and had a crack on with a gadgie who offered to buy me a pint. I discovered he was worth around £2 million and he told me the amazing story of how he got so rich. Basically when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell. He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time. He left school at 15 and bought an old series Land Rover and spent a few weeks fixing it up, he then sold it for profit. He then used the money to buy another and so on. He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again. He eventually moved onto Defenders in the 90's and then onto Range Rovers in the last eight or nine years. Even during the real bad times he plugged away.He worked long hours as you do in the Land Rover trade, sometimes not seeing his wife and bairns for days in pursuit of his goal. Then his uncle died and left him £2 million. A real heartwarming story.
After 30 years of marriage, a husband and wife went for counseling. The wife went into a tirade, listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on, she went: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry-list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, the therapist (who, BTW, is a man), got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her, long and passionately, as her husband watched -- with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up, and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and told him, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf!"
God how I hated school in the 70s "Sir, I've forgotten my bag" "You'll have to do the lesson in your underwear then, boy!" Worst History teacher ever!
Had to go to the Doctors yesterday and having stripped off he immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone... I explained that it was a family trait and that we all had genitalia shaped like musical instruments. He was amazed and said, “Well, in 27 years as a GP I’ve never seen anything like it, Having said that I do remember a woman coming in a few years ago and her f*nny was shaped like a Mouth Organ”. I said, “That’ll be Our Monica”.
