For many years my daughter was into Hello Kitty, and whilst she is now in her 20's, we have continued to buy her something Hello Kitty related for her birthday as a kind of jokey present. However I have been told by her mother that this is not an appropriate gift to give to ones daughter for some reason
OMG Stonkin, so what you are saying is that you want to see my daughter walk around with one of her breasts on show. I'm flabbergasted
A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Give me a double shot of whiskey NOW” even before he reaches the bar stool. “Everything OK?” the bartender asks the patron while preparing his drink. “Jesus! No,” says the patron. “I just found out my brother is gay and that he’s been secretly in love with my best friend for over 5 years!” “Oh man,” the tender says, “that’s messed up. So sorry about that.” A few days later, the same man enters the bar again, even more flustered than before. “Give me a double of what I had last time.” So the bartender places 2 glasses in front of him, each with 2 shots of whiskey. ”Man, you OK?” The bartender asks again. “Looks like you’re having a rough week!” he adds. “Oh, God! If you only knew,” replied the patron. “My nineteen year old son just came out as gay and he stole his sister’s boyfriend from right under her nose! The house is in complete turmoil.” During the weekend, the same patron entered and told the barman, “Man just bring the whole bottle of whiskey and a glass.” Shaking his head in disbelief, the tender asks, “Doesn't anyone in your family prefer women?” Downing a glass and then another, the patron looks at the barman and says, “Yes. Apparently my wife does!”
An Englishman is having breakfast, in Paris , one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: "You English folk eat the whole bread??" Englishman "Of course." Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to England ." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The Englishman listens in silence. The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??" Englishman: "Of Course." Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to England ." After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: "Do you have sex in France ?" Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. Englishman: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course. Englishman: "We don't. In England , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France ."
