Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

If you zoom on you can see the grid lines, and the original colour of the image.

 

‘I bet you £1000 you’ll never own a house.'

 

Scientists are now saying that the Brontosaurus may never have existed. Apparently the Triceratops and the Stegosaurus are also very questionable.

I'm gutted, 'cos it means that my pyjamas are just meaningless.

 

Don't worry about it Gordon
You'll always be a dinosaur to us

 

I've studied the girl in the shorts with her legs apart ...

... I'm sure I can see a little chink.

 

This day and age it could just be a chap.

 

I think the one sitting on the right might be a little constipated.

 

My favourite teacher back in school was Mrs. Turtle.

Funny name, but she tortoise well.

 

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in advance . . . .

I watched an episode of Australian masterchef where this bloke made a meringue and everybody cheered.

Things must have changed over there 'cos in Australia they always used to boo meringue !

 

The madam opened the brothel door in Glasgow and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.

"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive. There were no discounts. The price was still £5000.

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, "Edinburgh .."

"Really", she said. "I have family in Edinburgh .."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I'm her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver your £15,000 inheritance in person ................"

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain ...................

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer

 

Appropriate/topical, I think

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