A handyman was doing a bit of gardening for an elderly woman when she said "be careful when digging the border . . . . my old rabbit is buried somewhere in it." please log in to view this image
After going to the trouble of buying dinner for two, wine, flowers and chocolate, I would have thought that getting a blowjob would be the least I could expect. Apparently not, and the checkout girl even called the manager!
A man was riding his donkey with his wife walking behind. He got stopped by a policeman. The copper said, "Why are you riding a donkey and your wife is walking behind you?" "That's easy" he said. "She hasn't got a f*cking donkey."
I was at the bus stop and the bloke standing next to me had one arm and he was wearing his wristwatch on his stump. So being the nosy c*nt i am i asked him "Why dont you wear your watch on your good arm"? He replied " How the f*ck would i be able to wind it up"?