A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks.. What did you do today? The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "OK, OK. I was at me mates house watching a film." Dad asks, "What film did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "OK, sorry dad we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father. Mum laughs and says, "Well, hes certainly your son." The robot slaps the mother. Robot for sale.
A man goes to the doctors with terrible migraines. The doctor diagnoses that the cause of his pain is his testicles and the only way to relieve the pain is to have them removed. Well the guy thinks I can’t live with these horrendous headaches any longer so opts to have the old nut sacks removed. After recovery he feels like a new man, no more migraines. To celebrate he decides to go to the best tailor in town and buy a new suit. He walks in and an old guy comes up to him. “How can I help” says the old chap. “I want a new suit new shoes the works please”. “Ok said the old man, I believe you are a 44” chest 34” waist and 33” leg”. “That’s correct” said the man how did you know. “I’ve been doing this job for many years sir, how about some shoes and a new shirt size 9 and 15” collar”. The man is amazed how everything fitted perfectly. Finally said the old tailor “How about some new underwear, I believe sir is a medium”. “Ah” says the guy “you are wrong, I’ve always bought small”. “Oh no sir not small, that would be too tight around the testicles and cause these horrendous migraines”
