I've had enough of the festivities now. Every year I work my fingers to the bone to get enough money for presents for the kids, and what happens . . . . that fat git with the beard gets all the credit ! Mind, it's my own fault for marrying her.
I finally did it . . . . I bought a new pair of shoes with memory foam insoles. No more forgetting why I walked into the kitchen.
Why are parents so bad at discussing sex with their kids? When I was ten-years-old, I saw two dogs shagging in the street and asked my Mum what they were doing. "Dancing," she replied. The first school disco I went to, I got f*cking expelled!!