I remember when I was at school, the teacher asked the class to describe any 'Collective Nouns'. Mary raised her hand and said... "A herd of cows". The teacher said... "Very good Mary". James then raised his hand... "A flock of sheep miss". The teacher said... "Very good James". Susan then said... "A gaggle of geese miss". The teacher said... "Brilliant Susan". The teacher said... "What about you David, can you think of a collective noun that's better than the others? I said..."Yes miss, a dose of crabs".
When I was young, we were so poor, my mum went round and closed all the doors on Christmas Eve just so we'd have something to open on Christmas Day....