I was gutted yesterday when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't actually mine... She says, "that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school"...
I was very good at selling security alarms door to door... If no one was home, I'd leave a brochure on the kitchen table...
Last night I rode my bike to bar here in town and I had a few beers, followed by a few bourbons and a number of shots..... I still had the sense to know I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before, I locked up my bike in a secure place, and I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a police check point on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This came as a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before, I don't even know where I got it from, and now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it. ☮️✔️
A young lady was swimming at a pool and was having a great time burning calories and keeping fit. To her horror, she found that her swimsuit had torn open at the bottom leaving her bit exposed. Using her hands to cover up her modesty, she stealthily exited the pool by the side and grabbed a nearby sign to cover up. This somehow got her more attention, and she looked down at the sign. “Depth 1.8metres" Slightly embarrassed, she got rid of that sign and quickly grabbed another. More stares came her way ...... the sign read: “Men's entrance" She could sense her face getting redder by the moment, threw away the sign and grabbed the last one she could grab. Practically everyone was looking at her now, if not for the spectacle she was causing, but also for what was now on that sign. “Repairs ongoing, please enter from the rear"
