A little girl complained to her father, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!" Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!" Confused, the toddler asked, "I do?" "Sure," her dad said, pulling the kid's chain. "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!" The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy!"
I've just walked past a butcher shop and saw a sign in the window 'Turkey from £30' I thought bloody hell, that's £300 cheaper than 'Thomas Cook'............
William Shakespeare walks into a bar, before he can order anything the landlord says "Get out, you’re Bard"
An Irish couple were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a newborn baby came to an end. The adoption centre called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption centre, they stopped by the local college so they each could enrol in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him".
