2 expectant fathers were sitting in the maternity ward waiting room, the first said to the 2nd "Its Woombe - W, double O, M, B, E". "No" the second one replied its "Wumb - W, U, M,B" The argument went back and forth until a nurse who was listening, had enough of their arguing and went up to them and said tartyly "I think you find it's womb - W, O, M,B!" and stormed off. The 2 men looked at each other dumb founded and the first said to the second "I bet she's never even seen an elephant up close, never mind hear it fart underwater!"
It blows my mind that NASA is able to receive data from 4.67 billion miles away, but I lose Wi-Fi signal in my kitchen.
We were so poor we couldn’t afford shoes. I used to wrap my feet in bubble wrap so I could pop to the shops.
My wife says she's fed up and is planning on leaving me this weekend. Despite begging and pleading with her, she's adamant she won't move out before then.
