THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS: 1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax." 2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food." 3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish." 4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price." 5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room." 6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow." 7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned." 8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared." 9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers." 10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." 11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun." 12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair." 13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller." 14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service." 15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners." 16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning." 17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel." 18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes." 19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
I've just joined the breakdown service for scousers it's called the AA calm down calm down. If they can't fix your car at the roadside they will nick you a new one within the hour.
I phoned a Radio Station today, to enter their mystery prize competition. The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our Mystery Grand Star Prize' "That's Fantastic!" I called out in delight. "Feel Confident?" The presenter asked, "It's a geography Question." "Well, I've got a degree in Geography from Salford University," | proudly replied, "and I've taught Geography to A level students for the last 10 vears" "Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 VIP tickets to the premier of new Barbie movie and to meet actors afterwards, what is the capital of France?" "Islamabad", I replied.
I took my wife to a local orchard for her birthday. We stood and stared at the trees for an hour. Not the apple watch she had in mind.
In the latest business news it has been revealed that Crufts are in severe financial difficulty. A spokesman for the organisation said it has got so bad they may have to call in the official Retriever.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Nearly tried to get rid of a page by pressing X….only to realise that it was that stupid symbol adopted by twitter. Always knew Musk was an idiot…a rich idiot admittedly, but still an idiot. Isn’t a logo supposed to be unique and immediately recognisable…not something that also means delete and a kiss.
