I was walking along the high street with my wife today when she suddenly stopped and said, "Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?" "Of course not." I replied. "So why the balaclava then?" she asked. I said, "It's in fashion." "Really?" she said, "Do you see any other women wearing one?"
It's weird, if you scream in the middle of a supermarket everyone thinks you've lost the plot but if you do it on a plane everyone joins in.
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The size of a penis is three times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2 times as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. A woman has read this entire text, and a man is still looking at his thumb.
I was telling my mate that my wife has a weird habit of licking my balls. He said, " That's not weird. I wish my wife would do that." I said, " I didn't know you played golf."
