Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I was walking along the high street with my wife today when she suddenly stopped and said, "Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"
"Of course not." I replied.
"So why the balaclava then?" she asked.
I said, "It's in fashion."
"Really?" she said, "Do you see any other women wearing one?"

 

It's weird, if you scream in the middle of a supermarket everyone thinks you've lost the plot but if you do it on a plane everyone joins in.

 

Perfect for your little camper-mates

 

Ex Watford managers gather to watch Elton

 

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I bought a new ipad in the pub earlier . . . . it's taking fecking ages to load

 

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.

A human hair can hold 3kg.

The size of a penis is three times the length of the thumb.

The femur is as hard as concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

Women blink 2 times as much as men.

We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.

A woman has read this entire text, and a man is still looking at his thumb.

 

I was telling my mate that my wife has a weird habit of licking my balls.
He said, " That's not weird. I wish my wife would do that."
I said, " I didn't know you played golf."

 

I’m very pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I’ve got twelve fridges..

 

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