Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

When I was younger I lived in a houseboat for a while and I started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

 

A trucker came into a truck stop restaurant and placed his order. “I want three flat tyres, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.”
The brand-new waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “A lad out there just ordered three flat tyres, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is . . . . an auto parts store ?”
“No,” the cook said. “Three flat tyres means three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and a pair of running boards is two slices of crisp bacon.”
“Oh, okay” replied the waitress. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, “What are the beans for ?”
She replied “I thought that while you were waiting for the flat tyres, headlights and running boards, you might as well fill up with gas.”

 

I’ve been interrogating the dog for two solid hours.

He still won’t tell me who’s a good boy.

 

I'm that lazy, I married a pregnant woman.