I came home one day found my wife with a banana stuffed up her fanny. I said "Aw, **** me, when I eat that it's going to taste of banana"
The Lord is watching you Brissy there is no escape even in Australia, bad boy......What happens when she uses trap 2 ?
fat twats two doors down making a right racket with their music, I said 'thats it I'm going round and if they start I will use my judo on them' the wife replied 'look calm down,no point throwing a wobbly'
It might be a way off but i am in the process of writing a charity single to highlight the plight of rough sleepers.... duvet know it's Christmas
The who have announced that after the group's last tour the bus they have used for years will be scrapped and won't be fuelled again
A mate was going on holiday to Spain and doesn't have that much luck with the ladies and asked what he could do to improve his chances, I said 'when you've got your Speedos on pop a couple of jersey royals into them you'll be amazed at the glances from the ladies and should be onto a winner oh and take a couple of pictures and show me when you're back'.....on returning I said ' well all systems go then'...not really he replied and showed me the pictures I said FFS you where supposed to put them in the front '
I asked a lady if I could stroke her hair. She said i could, so I ran my finger across her top lip. The nurses in A&E can be so cruel sometimes.