Last night the wife asked me Is it just me or is the cat getting fat Apparently just you was the wrong answer
My doctor told me I had six months to live I told him I couldn’t pay him He gave me another six months
Apparently you have to drive with your lights on when it’s raining in Sweden. How am I meant to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Jokes for married men Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. It’s called wedding cake. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Some men say they don’t wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. Well, that’s the point, isn’t it?
Paddy and Mary decide to try a 69. Paddy's never done one before so Mary says that she'll show him. She tells him to lie on the floor, and squats over him, but as she lowers herself onto his face she farts. She apologises and tries again, but farts again ! Paddy jumps up and storms out yelling . . . . "I'm not hanging around for 67 more of them"
I just found out that Anthony Hopkins is Welsh. That explains why he wanted those lambs to keep quiet !
