Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I really don't get why women fake orgasms.
It's not like us men actually care.

 

My daughter’s pet lamb died today. The grieving process was delicious!

 

On the eve of our anniversary my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex.
Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers...
... and stuck my c*ck in her mouth.

 

I said to my wife, "How would you define 'Epic'?"
"Well," she replied, "you know when we come home from the pub and we're so intoxicated we rip each others clothes off and have it there and then?"
"Yes!" I replied.
"Well imagine the total opposite of that."

 

I walked into a bar with a mate who's a polar bear.

He couldn't decide what he wanted and the barman started to get impatient.

'Have you lads decided what you want?'

'Bear with me' I said.

 

Elton John has just bought his pet rabbit a treadmill for its bedroom,
It's a little fit bunny.

 

This may have been posted before (I can't remember) . . . .