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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    "We need a bigger house." Said my wife.
    "Why not just go on a diet?" I replied.
     
    #25241
  2. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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  3. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket
    You can hide but you can’t run
     
    #25243
  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  7. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Little Johnny came home from school with a black eye
    His dad says Johnny what have you done
    It’s not my fault
    The teacher had her dress stuck in the crack of her butt so I reached over and pulled it out
    She turned round and hit me
    The father said Johnny you don’t do that to women
    The next day he came home with the other eye black
    Johnny what happened
    It wasn’t my fault
    The teacher again had her dress stuck in her butt
    I did nothing
    Suzzie reached over and pulled it out
    I know she doesn’t like it
    So I pushed it back in
     
    #25247
  8. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I was raised as an only child
    Which was really hard for my sister
     
    #25248
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #25249
    LAMackem, Draig, spirit of 73 and 5 others like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #25250
  11. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    Today I donated my watch, phone and £100 to some poor guy.

    You don’t know the happiness that I felt when he put the knife back in his pocket !
     
    #25252
  13. Snaggey

    Snaggey Well-Known Member

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    Wordle....
     
    #25253
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A husband and wife who worked for the circus went to an adoption agency. The social worker raised doubts about their suitability. The couple then produced photos of their 50-foot motor home, which was clean and well maintained, and equipped with a beautiful nursery.
    The social worker then raised concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care.
    "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills."
    Then the social worker expressed concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.
    "Our nanny will be a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet."
    The social worker was finally satisfied and asked, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
    "Oh, It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon."
     
    #25254
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.
    But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
    Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
    After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
    "How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
    "Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
    "Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?
     
    #25255
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

    The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11
     
    #25257
    LAMackem, Draig, gelders pie and 5 others like this.
  18. Snaggey

    Snaggey Well-Known Member

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    Was better first time Rog.
    :emoticon-0103-cool:
     
    #25258
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  19. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    There's a tribe of pygmies in Central Africa called The Fukawi who are only 3'6" tall. They live in fields where the grass is 4'6" high.
    They run around all day shouting, "We're The Fukawi."
     
    #25259
    butcher58, LAMackem, Draig and 4 others like this.
  20. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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