Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Simples

 

You think that your dog's hard, do you

 

A man walks into Ann Summers to buy some see-through lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price . . . . the more see-through, the higher the price.
He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home. He gives it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the modelling naked and return it tomorrow, get a £150 refund, and keep the money for myself.'
So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose.
The husband says 'Blinkers . . . . it wasn't that creased in the shop !'

 

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 6 husbands. On their wedding night, she saod to her new husband "Please be gentle . . . . I'm still a virgin"
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married six times ?"
"Well, husband no. 1 was a Sales Representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband no. 2 was from Field Services, and he said that everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband no. 3 was in Telemarketing. Even though he knew that he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband no. 4 was a Psychiatrist. All that he did was talk about it.
Husband no. 5 was a Gynecologist. All that he did was look at it.
Husband no. 6 was a Stamp Collector. All that he ever did was . . . . God, I miss him !
Now that I've married you, though, I'm so excited.”
"Wonderful" said the husband, "but why me ?”
"You're with the government . . . . this time I know that I'm gonna get screwed"

 

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