Paddy started work the other day and the foreman said 'here's a fiver . . . . go and get two skirting board ladders and a glass hammer, son' He said 'yeah o.k. but I'm not that stupid. That'll cost much more than this fiver'
My partner took me out for a meal and said " Why don't you order something you haven't had in ages". So I asked the waitress for a shag.
Learned an interesting fact during my visit to the zoo today; The North American raccoon is the only other animal that will perform oral sex. The rest of the enclosures, I couldn't climb into.
Apparently St George was made a saint for having the courage to stand up to a big scary dragon... Fair play to the fella I tried that once and had to spend the next 6 months in the spare room!!..