The teacher was in class and wanted to use some of her new psychology skills Does anyone think they are stupid If you do please stand up After a couple of seconds little Johnny stands up Do you think you are stupid little Johnny No miss but I didn’t want to leave you standing all alone
Just told the lad he’s adopted. Said he wanted to meet his biological parents. Bit awkward, have to explain now that we are his biological parents and his new ones are picking him up later.
"You're probably not interested..." began the wife, "...But I think we should have a baby together. A child of our own would strengthen our relationship. It would show the world how in love we are and I just know we'd make amazing parents." "You're right, love." I replied, "I'm not interested."
Sitting in a recliner naked watching a film eating ice cream & Dorito's minding my own business and f*cking Costo call the police.
My father always told me to keep a cricket bat under my bed for protection. Turned out to be substantially less effective than condoms.
WARNING ! A message will appear with a loud alarm on millions of mobile phones at 3pm on April 23rd in a test of a new public alert. All of you 'players' out there, make sure that your spare phone is turned off !
I can't believe that my Spotify tracks have stuck on repeat . I don't mind the four tops , but it's the same old song !!
I was out cycling the other day, went off track through a field, and suddenly I was attacked by a herd of sheep. Fortunately, I was only grazed.
My french friend was cycling through France when his beret blew off into a cow pasture, he tried 7 on before he found the right one.
