My mate's wife left him last week, saying that she was going out for milk. I asked him how he was coping, and he said it's okay and that he's been using powdered stuff.
Just been watching Women's golf on Sky. It's so much like real life... They're shyte at driving but great with an iron!
Me and the missus were arguing about the size of tits. I’m telling her that it doesn’t matter, she says it does. Long story short I start my new diet tomorrow
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore 'cos the ducks keep biting him. I should have known this would happen . . . . he’s pure bread.
Whenever my wife is upset I let her colour in one of my monochrome tattoos . . . . when she really needs a shoulder to crayon.
