I was sat next to my wife last night bored to tears so I decided to go upstairs for a crafty w*nk... She followed me up after a couple of minutes, caught me and started a blazing argument. What a complete overreaction. Stupid bitch got us thrown off the bus!
I hate it when the clocks go forward an hour. It means for a week afterwards I get my usual wake-up erection when I'm on the bus to work!
According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers .. and then there are educators!
A horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking He calls to the chicken to go get the farmer to help The chicken goes to find the farmer but he cannot be found The chicken gets into the BMW and goes to the horse Ties a rope around the horse and pulls him out A week later the chicken gets stuck in the mud and calls to the horse to get the farmer The horse says I think l can straddle it He does and says Reach up and get hold of my dick and I’ll pull you out The chicken does and is pulled out The moral of the story is If you’re hung like a horse you don’t need a BMW to pull chicks
