Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Teenagers lied about there age to fight in WW2, but now we have teenagers with purple hair crying because we called them the wrong pronouns.
Grow up, bitches

 

A Mother-in-law decides to test her three Son-in-laws for their good nature.
For this, she goes for a walk by the river with the 1st Son-in-law & jumps in. He saves her.
Next morning, he finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with a note: "From your Mother-in-Law"
Next, she goes for a walk by the river with the 2nd Son-in-law & jumps in. He too saves her.
Next morning He also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with a note: "From your Mother-In-Law"
Next, she goes for a walk by the river with the 3rd Son-in-law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away...
Next morning, he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with a note:
"FROM YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW!

 

I’m not an expert on Part M (disability access) of Building Regulations, but . . . .

 

I was walking down the road minding my own business when all of a sudden I thought that I heard someone saying hello to me in Arabic . . . . but it was just a false salam !

 

Sam goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after the service for me?"
Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend he agrees. After the services, Mike starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.
Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the minister. "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."
The minister smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You better hurry home. My wife passed away a year ago."

 

Pensioners. Not to be messed with.....

 

Bit OTT, but 1 up for us oldies.

 

Probably more damage to his own car in the end.

 

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It's time for a laugh

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.

At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.

The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer,

"How will I know if they are pregnant?"

The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."

The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week. Both farmers were worn out.

The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife,

"Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."

"Neither," yelled his wife. "They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."

Also Read : https://www.actbiggy.com/this-man-i...lers-into-shelters-for-stray-cats-for-winter/

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