Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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I want my kids to have everything I didn't.......
Like Condoms.

 

I was just putting the cat out when the wife said, "Who the f*ck set the cat alight?

 

A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn’t seem to get enough lovin’.
In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
The problem was their nooner -- it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn’t getting enough work done.
Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do. "Homer,” said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the field with you and when you’re in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene’s signal to come out to you. Then you won’t lose any field time.”
They tried Doc’s advice and it worked well for a while. But then Homer went back to the doctor’s office.
"What’s wrong?" asked the Doc. "Didn’t my idea work?”
"Oh, it worked real well," said Homer. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Darlene’d come runnin’. We’d find a secluded place, make love, and then she’d go back home again."
"Good, Homer. So what’s the problem?" asked the Doc.
"I ain’t seen her since huntin’ season started!"