Oh Yes....A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good, clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol...**Dead**. The second worm in cigarette smoke**....**Dead**. The third worm in chocolate syrup**...**Dead**. The fourth worm in good, clean soil**...**Alive**.** So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?" Maxine was sitting in the back and quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have worms! That pretty much ended the service !!
The same minister was worried about the increased use of the ouija board and other attempts to contact the spirits in the Welsh valleys, so he made it the subject of a sermon. "Hands up anyone, who has seen a ghost" 15 or 16 hands went up "Now then, how many of you have had a message from a ghost" 5 or 6 of the hands went down "How many of you have had any physical contact with a ghost" only 4 hands stayed up "How many of you have actually touched a ghost" 2 hands stayed up "Right you are telling me that you have had intimate, physical contact with a ghost, are you SURE" Only Dai stood there with his hand held defiantly high "Come down to the pulpit, my man" Dai with his head held high strode down to the front of the congregation. "Now then my man, remember you are in the house of God, and that lying is a sin. are you CERTAIN that you have had intimate physical contact with a ghost?" Dai blushed bright red "I'm not a liar vicar......................I thought you said GOAT"
A young boy came out of the strip joint crying. "What's the matter" asked a passerby The boy replied "My vicar told me if I ever saw naught things I'll turn into stone and I think I've started"
A man swallowed a bottle of Tipex liquid, by mistake.....he meant to take Viagra.......walked around all day with a correction!
Santa came down the wrong chimney in Maerdy Road There was the Evans girl, sweet 16 and reclining on the divan in her negligee (For you Valley boys she was lying on the couch in her vest) Santa, she said can you stay for half an hour? No girl, my reindeers are champing on the bit up there he replied She slipped one arm out of her negligee and said how about 10 minutes then I can’t said Santa I’ve 14 teddy bears to deliver to Mrs Jones‘s kids next door With that she dropped the negligee to the floor and said can't you stay even for 5 minutes I’ll have to now girl was his reply I can’t get back up the chimney.
